From the extravaganza that sometimes turn into mourning, and back again, day in and day out. When it hits me I dance to its tune, sometimes indulging, sometimes detached. What does it matter who dances the dance. The people watching must be entertained. That is all that matters. Is that all that matters? No. Because the dancer changes when dancing. The dancer forgets himself in the dance. Forgets his being in that selfless giving. That is the highest value of human life, to forget the self to do perfect, and in the process become perfect.
The search to a pretty place. Whatever step we take in our life, we take it to go to a pretty place, something close to perfection. The thing with perfection is that it is the same for everyone. Good, trusted, fun friends, a family that supports but does not interfere, a job that gives more and more money, and a spouse that is sexy, caring and independent.
But from reaching our pretty place, a contradiction pulls us down.
The contradiction is that nothing in life is stable and you can’t have all the checkboxes ticked at one point of time in life. If we accept that, we will be happy with what we have and not keep craving for more and more.
We learn to accept weaknesses in ourselves and others, and try to accept our mistakes and others’ too. I love it when my boyfriend is loving, but expecting him to be loving all the time is impossible.
Like everything else in life, love is not constant.
It will change. Sometimes, I am mad at him and I don’t want to have anything to do with him, sometimes I love him beyond anything and anyone. In short, our pretty world changes into our draconian world pretty much twice a month. To not be on a rollercoaster at all times, we need to kill this contradiction.
Awareness is the remedy.
When you are in a deep mess, angry at the world or yourself, be aware that it is temporary, just like your examination fear or your first heart break. You don’t give a damn about it now though you may look back and know how you felt then. But you don’t feel those emotions now. If you are pulling yourself away from your situation, you are killing the contradiction. You are killing its impact on you. You are free from its bad effect on you. You will not worry endlessly and think a thousand other bad thoughts, and the ups and downs will pass away without pulling you up and down with them. Cheers! Happy New Year!
I don’t make new year resolutions, but goddamn, I will be fluent in Italian much before this year end.
So here we are! I mark this date as a start of what I believe will be an adventure for both me and you where we will explore, share and learn. Bravo!